The toilet seat fiasco

We are getting ready to have a yard sale this weekend. We live down the shore and lots of shoobies, I mean out-of-town-visitors, come down on Memorial Day weekend, so we thought it would be a good time to unload some of our stuff. I’ve also been holding onto a lot of my parents’ stuff for them, so they can sell too.

But here’s the thing.

Yard sales suck for Finn.

I can’t even tell him we are having a yard sale. I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but he cannot handle the thought of something he once loved or kinda liked or touched or even looked at being given away. Even if we sell it for money to buy more Legos or Wii games or IPad apps or whatever. He just can’t handle it. (He used to not be able to handle throwing anything away, like a used Band-aid, so I definitely think we are making progress!)

I’ve been secretly boxing things and tagging them while the boys are at school. I don’t dare try and sell any of his stuff, but as you are about to find out, that doesn’t really matter. I still have to have him sleep at my Mom’s the night before the yard sale and then stay there the entire day. By the time he returns, it has to look like nothing ever happened.

And here’s why…

My mom had this decorative toilet seat that she forgot she had, but really liked. It was clear with dolphins on it and she wanted to put it on one of their new toilets at the new house. But my dad refused. He already bought all new toilet seats and didn’t want to switch them out. So, my mom offered the toilet seat to us. The boys loved it and wanted it for their bathroom, so I agreed and we took it home.

That night, I started to take it out of the box while the kids were in the tub and Finn said, “What are you doing?” I said, “Switching out the toilet seat, remember? You wanted this dolphin toilet seat from Mom Mom.” He said, “Can we keep the old toilet seat in the attic?” (Which, by the way, the existing toilet seat is a hideous yellow. I never changed it out when we moved in because the toilet itself is a hideous yellow. Replacing the matching yellow seat with a white seat would make the toilet look like a Creamsicle. I keep wishing HGTV is going to show up and do a surprise renovation to my 1970s bathrooms and kitchen. Until then, I’m still rockin’ the retro!) So anyway, Finn is apparently attached to this yellow toilet seat and was starting to get visibly nervous about the thought of its departure. He said he thought that the new toilet seat would make his butt cold and we just had to keep the old seat. I said, “Finn, we are not keeping an old, disgusting toilet seat! You wanted this dolphin seat.”

Well, he breaks into hysterics.

Here it is! The toilet that will forever be in my house. I can't believe I'm even showing it to you. I should be writing away to some "Pimp my Bathroom" kind of show so that they will take pity on me, but alas I am sharing my commode with you! Apparently, Finn loves it.

Here it is! The toilet that will forever be in my house. I can’t believe I’m even showing it to you. I should be writing away to some “Pimp my Bathroom” kind of show so that they will take pity on me, but alas I am sharing my commode with you! Apparently, Finn loves it.

I was trying to put the twins down for bed while all this was going on, so I left the bathroom because I could feel my patience waning. Joe tried to talk Finn off the ledge to no avail and then comes into the twins’ room and says, “Shan, can’t we just leave the toilet seat?” It seems really ridiculous looking back on it, but it’s not like I was forcing the dolphin seat on him. He said he wanted it!

He was in a full wail when I went in and repacked up the dolphin seat. I told him we didn’t have to change the toilet seat. He began to calm down and he sniffled, “Thanks, Mommy.”

I don’t know how I could ever begin to think that we would ever move from my tribute to disco that we call a house. Finn can’t even have a new toilet seat! And THAT, my friends, is why Finn will not be coming to our yard sale!

On a positive note, Charlie and his cousins will be selling lemonade at the yard sale. They will be splitting the profits and donating a portion to FACES 4 Autism. You gotta love an entrepreneur with a giving heart! That’s my Charlie!

I love this picture of my boys!

I love this picture of my boys!


5 thoughts on “The toilet seat fiasco

  1. I absolutely adore Finn! Gotta tell you that he would not survive my personal crazy! I’m changing something in my house on what feels like a weekly basis. My kids are over me!!! Lots of luck with your garage sale!!! We had one last month… I was so excited cause I wanted to get French doors for the living room. Would you believe that I sideswiped Michaels care when I pulled out of the driveway two days before the sale! Yep, I sure did!! My $450 in sales is now going to fix my dented van😂. So, be sure to not be a dummy like me… Love ya!

    • Oh no! That sucks! I hate when that kind of stuff happens! i would love to use the $ for a new kitchen table, but i think i have to make some house repairs! We’ve been having some dumb luck lately! in other news, Guess what we are selling at our yard sale? Brand new French doors! I wish we were closer (and they fit your room!)

  2. My dear, the color of your toilet is not Hideous Yellow. Get your 70’s lingo straight…it’s “Harvest Gold.” My parents had the same one and it was all the rage. You’re definitely rockin’ retro!

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