We are getting ready to have a yard sale this weekend. We live down the shore and lots of shoobies, I mean out-of-town-visitors, come down on Memorial Day weekend, so we thought it would be a good time to unload some of our stuff. I’ve also been holding onto a lot of my parents’ stuff for them, so they can sell too.
But here’s the thing.
Yard sales suck for Finn.
I can’t even tell him we are having a yard sale. I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but he cannot handle the thought of something he once loved or kinda liked or touched or even looked at being given away. Even if we sell it for money to buy more Legos or Wii games or IPad apps or whatever. He just can’t handle it. (He used to not be able to handle throwing anything away, like a used Band-aid, so I definitely think we are making progress!)
I’ve been secretly boxing things and tagging them while the boys are at school. I don’t dare try and sell any of his stuff, but as you are about to find out, that doesn’t really matter. I still have to have him sleep at my Mom’s the night before the yard sale and then stay there the entire day. By the time he returns, it has to look like nothing ever happened.
And here’s why…
My mom had this decorative toilet seat that she forgot she had, but really liked. It was clear with dolphins on it and she wanted to put it on one of their new toilets at the new house. But my dad refused. He already bought all new toilet seats and didn’t want to switch them out. So, my mom offered the toilet seat to us. The boys loved it and wanted it for their bathroom, so I agreed and we took it home.
That night, I started to take it out of the box while the kids were in the tub and Finn said, “What are you doing?” I said, “Switching out the toilet seat, remember? You wanted this dolphin toilet seat from Mom Mom.” He said, “Can we keep the old toilet seat in the attic?” (Which, by the way, the existing toilet seat is a hideous yellow. I never changed it out when we moved in because the toilet itself is a hideous yellow. Replacing the matching yellow seat with a white seat would make the toilet look like a Creamsicle. I keep wishing HGTV is going to show up and do a surprise renovation to my 1970s bathrooms and kitchen. Until then, I’m still rockin’ the retro!) So anyway, Finn is apparently attached to this yellow toilet seat and was starting to get visibly nervous about the thought of its departure. He said he thought that the new toilet seat would make his butt cold and we just had to keep the old seat. I said, “Finn, we are not keeping an old, disgusting toilet seat! You wanted this dolphin seat.”
Well, he breaks into hysterics.
I was trying to put the twins down for bed while all this was going on, so I left the bathroom because I could feel my patience waning. Joe tried to talk Finn off the ledge to no avail and then comes into the twins’ room and says, “Shan, can’t we just leave the toilet seat?” It seems really ridiculous looking back on it, but it’s not like I was forcing the dolphin seat on him. He said he wanted it!
He was in a full wail when I went in and repacked up the dolphin seat. I told him we didn’t have to change the toilet seat. He began to calm down and he sniffled, “Thanks, Mommy.”
I don’t know how I could ever begin to think that we would ever move from my tribute to disco that we call a house. Finn can’t even have a new toilet seat! And THAT, my friends, is why Finn will not be coming to our yard sale!
On a positive note, Charlie and his cousins will be selling lemonade at the yard sale. They will be splitting the profits and donating a portion to FACES 4 Autism. You gotta love an entrepreneur with a giving heart! That’s my Charlie!